Dear Underwear, It’s Not You. It’s… Actually, It Is You

A breakup letter to uncomfortable underwear and why it’s time to let go.

Dear Underwear,

We’ve had some good times.

You were there for my first school dance. You showed up when I panic-bought that 5-pack before vacation. You even held it together during that very dramatic breakup in 2016 (unlike me).

But it’s time we talked.

Because lately? You’ve been a lot.

Too tight. Too bunchy. Too visible. Too much.

You’ve rolled when I’ve walked, peeked out when I’ve bent over, and made your presence aggressively known during workouts. You’ve left marks on my hips, you’ve betrayed me under leggings, and let’s not even get into the whole lace-that-scratches situation.

You used to feel like a necessity. Now? You feel like a bad habit.

So I’m setting myself free.

No more tugging. No more adjusting. No more debating whether I can sneak a wedgie fix in public.

I’ve found something new.
Something soft. Lightweight. Breathable. Invisible under clothes.
Something that sticks with me (literally) without the waistband, the seams, or the stress.

It’s called Femeflex. And it’s everything you’re not.

I know what you’re going to say. “You’ll miss me.”
But the truth is… I already don’t.

This isn’t a pause. It’s a full stop.
No more panty lines. No more friction. Just freedom.

So, goodbye.
Thanks for the memories.
And the chafing.
Mostly the chafing.

Sincerely,
A Woman Who Finally Knows Better